What we handle on a hoarder house
Families who call about a hoarder house have usually been circling it for years, and the first thing they need is somebody who treats it as ordinary. It is ordinary to us. We have walked a great many of these houses on Long Island and there is nothing in yours we have not seen.
We clear the property ourselves after closing, at our cost. We will walk a hoarder house without comment. We can move quickly or wait months. And if the owner needs support rather than a sale right now, we would rather help you find it than push a transaction nobody is ready for.
Nothing needs to come out first
Not one box. The instinct is to clear a hoarder house enough to make it presentable before anyone sees it, and that instinct is both unnecessary and frequently unsafe. Stacks shift. Floors are not always sound underneath them.
Take out what matters to the family and leave everything else exactly where it is. Clearing a hoarder house is our job and our cost, and it does not come off the offer.
Why local knowledge changes the number
A four-bedroom on Waverly Avenue. A four-bedroom on Camille Lane. A house on South Ocean Avenue. All of them in Patchogue, all bought by us.
Patchogue is roughly 12,408 people in Suffolk County, ZIP 11772, and the housing stock is mostly colonial, cape cod, victorian. Around Main Street and the Patchogue Theatre, most of it is old enough that the mechanicals are on their second or third life. The Patchogue stop pulls buyers who commute, which supports the good houses and does very little for the ones that need a roof. We know which of these streets take water, where the older systems fail first, and what the Patchogue-Medford School District does to a resale price.
What moves the number, and what does not
The structure underneath, not the contents. Whether floors and joists have held under the weight, whether water has been getting in behind the accumulation, the condition of the heating and electrical, and whether the hoarder house needs pest or sanitation work.
The volume of belongings is a predictable cost to us. The condition of the building is what actually moves the number, and we can usually read a hoarder house well enough from one walk-through without moving anything.
Handling it discreetly
Nobody needs to know. No sign goes up in Patchogue, no photographs go online, and nobody walks through the hoarder house except us.
That matters more than people expect, particularly when the owner is still alive and still has neighbors who have known them thirty years. Discretion is a standard part of how we buy these, and you do not have to negotiate for it.
What you do not pay when you sell a hoarder house
These are the costs of putting a hoarder house on the market through an agent. None of them apply when you sell to us.
- Agent commission
- $30,250 at 5% of the Patchogue median none
- Seller closing costs
- About $12,100 on a $605,000 sale. We can cover these. none
- Repairs to make it listable
- Whatever the house needs, paid up front none
- Cleanout and removal
- Charged by the truckload, and done before the first showing none
- Carrying costs while it waits
- Taxes, insurance and utilities while you spend 78 to 93 days finding a buyer and waiting for their loan none
When the timing is not yours to decide
Then they are not ready, and pushing makes it worse. A hoarder house almost always involves somebody who is not ready to let go of it, and no amount of pressure from a buyer improves that.
We will give the family a number so it exists when the time comes. We do not call back repeatedly, and you should be wary of any buyer who does, because hoarder house leads get resold and recycled around this industry.
What the two paths cost in Patchogue
These are the two routes open to you with a hoarder house, priced against what Patchogue houses actually sell for.
Work it against Patchogue's own numbers. The median sale here is $605,000. A 5% commission on that is $30,250, and seller closing costs of about 2% add roughly $12,100. Those are costs we can cover on our side. That is $42,350 gone before anyone counts the repairs it took to get the house listable.
There are two waits in a listed sale and people usually only count the first. In Patchogue the median house takes about 33 days to go from listed to a signed contract. Then it waits again, typically 45 to 60 days, while the buyer's lender orders an appraisal and underwrites the loan. Call it 78 to 93 days from sign to keys, assuming nothing goes wrong.
The part worth understanding is what a signed contract actually guarantees, which is less than most sellers assume. A retail buyer with a mortgage contingency can walk away right up to the end. If they do not qualify, if the appraisal comes in under the price, if they change their mind and let the financing lapse. A share of deals die exactly there, after months of waiting, and the house goes back on the market with time on it. We are not borrowing anything, so there is no lender to satisfy, no appraisal to come in low and no contingency to exercise.
| Listing with an agent | Selling to us | |
|---|---|---|
| Sale price | $605,000 (Patchogue median) | Our written offer |
| Commission | −$30,250 | None |
| Seller closing costs | −$12,100 | We can cover them |
| Repairs before listing | Out of pocket | None |
| Cleanout | Yours | Ours |
| Showings | Until it sells | One visit |
| Listed to signed contract | 33 days (Patchogue median, once listable) | 24 hours to a written offer |
| Contract to closing | 45 to 60 days (waiting on the buyer's lender) | A date you choose |
| Total wait | 78 to 93 days if nothing falls through | Yours to set |
| Can the buyer walk? | Yes (mortgage contingency runs to the end) | No financing to fall through |
| Before repairs and carrying | $562,650 | The number we put in writing |
The listing column assumes a 5% commission and seller closing costs of about 2%. Both vary. We have not subtracted repairs or the cost of carrying the house while it sits, because those depend on the property. A house in good condition listed with a good agent can absolutely beat a cash offer, and we will say so if that is your situation.
The cost of clearing it yourself
The reason families stall on a hoarder house for years is usually not denial. It is that the first step is expensive, physically hard, and emotionally worse, and nobody wants to be the one who throws away a parent's belongings.
Selling to us removes that step completely. We do the clearing, after closing, when the hoarder house belongs to us and the family does not have to watch it happen.
Common questions
Is it safe for you to go into a hoarder house?
We will judge that when we arrive, and if it is not, we work from the outside and from whatever you can show us. We are not going to ask anyone to clear a path through a hoarder house for our benefit.
Will you throw away things that matter to the family?
Take anything you want before closing. After that the hoarder house is ours, so if there is something specific, tell us and we will look for it while we clear.
Does the hoarder house need a cleanout before closing?
No. We buy with the contents in place and clear it ourselves afterward, at our cost. Nothing has to leave the hoarder house before the closing except what the family wants to keep.
Will anyone in Patchogue know the house sold this way?
No. A hoarder house sale to us involves no marketing at all, which is precisely why families in Patchogue choose it over listing with an agent.
The owner is still living in the Patchogue house. Can you still make an offer?
Yes. An occupied hoarder house is common and it does not change how we buy. The timeline is the thing that usually needs care, and we can be patient with it.